"All
the mysteries of the universe, all the answers to those questions can be
found in a Spielberg film."
"Explain
to me the Crisco."
"You
can get arrested for that in some states."
"No,
I'm enjoying my misery"
"What
have we learned from tonight's 90210 evening?"
"Joey,
you bitter, cynical, jaded... thing."
"And
the rest is pornographic history."
"Don't
bother, I'll show myself out."
"I
don't think there currently exists a word to describe my reaction."
"Bye.
See you later. Have a nice life."
"I
could do without all the unexpected plot twists, though."
"Yep...
that's why you weren't invited."
"You
told her people called me oompa-loompa!"
"He's
Mr. Got-Caught-Doin-It-On-The-Parent's-Bed."
"Congratulations.
That makes you Potsie."
"Good
angel this, Pacey."
"You're
so full of it."
"You
are a Grade-A, 100%, scaredy cat wuss."
"Congratulations,
you are the world's worst driver."
"Didn't
your mother ever tell you not to talk to strangers?"
"World
peace is easy... it's the tap dancing in pumps I kinda have trouble with."
"I'm
sitting here with my best friend in the world... and my palms are sweating."
"It's
the first time we've ever slept together in a foreign bed."
"I
just think our emerging hormones are destined to alter our relationship
and I'm trying to limit the fall-out."
"I
cannot and will not kiss that cretin."
"I'm
not suggesting leather straps and Crisco, just a kiss."
"I'm
not above witnessing your hormonal suicide, so count me in."
"Take
the elevator to the next floor and get off. It's time."
"Hmm.
Sand in my crotch. Heaven."
"Clap
hard, Dawson. You may be Tinker Bell's last hope."
"I'm
just trying to tell you that every guy who grows up to be one of the good
ones... he was probably a dweeb with girls when he was 15, too."
"A
fat fingered alien who eats Reeses Pieces and flies around on a bicycle?"
"She
just might choose the guy who has the faster car, or the bigger bicep,
or... the bigger joystick."
"Don't
you think you should get some pom-poms, Jen, and cheer your man on?"
"I
swear to god, Dawson, my sister gave birth to Rosemary's baby."
"Oh,
thank you, Satan for completing this night of horrors by sending one of
your disciples to finish me off."
"Just
a reminder... if one person says something, it's a rumor. Two people...
it's gospel."
"I'm
having an ice cream anti-social. You wanna join me?"
"Yeah...
I can wait."
"
I'm very well certain that your grade will not only place you squarely
among the morons, but you may very well be their leader."
"Let
me get this straight... you tried to create some sort of snail menage a
trois?"
"You
take one more step in this direction and I can almost guarantee you a permanent
disability."
"Face
it, Pacey, you have the worst taste in women."
"We
don't have to wash each other's hair or do each other's nails, do we?"
"Wait
a second, I have to smile? You never said anything about smiling."
"For
a second there, I was overcome with this wave of sympathy for you. It'll
pass."
"I
mean, can't you steal your dad's car or something?"
"Do
you really love me, though? Cause I'm 15 years old, and I go through every
day of my life thinking that nobody loves me."
"It's
time to grow up, Dawson."
"Phasers
on stun, I come in peace."
"All
I can say is 'enjoy it, man'. Life has a pretty unexpected benefit."
"I'm
the best sex you'll ever have."
"Your
tongue was in my mouth."
"Joey,
you die so well. Dawson, can we get another one of those, cause I so love
that image."
"This
cannot be happening."
"Where
do you get off taking all the responsibility for this?"
"Do
you know how difficult it is to fail? Okay, this has taken a considerable
amount of work and energy."
"I
need a slave driver. Somebody with a whip maybe?"
"I'm
a firm believer that sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing."
"I'm
not cursed with self-awareness like you are, Dawson, but I know enough
to know how people see me."
"I
got the girl this time, Dawson."
"The
guy with the brown hair and the throbbing neck muscles... the guy with
Tamara Jacobs, that's me."
"No
guy's first time should be captured on video."
"Mr.
Gold is gay!"
"I'm
already jealous of every guy who's ever been in your field of vision, who's
known the smell of your hair, who's held your body against his."
"Surprise.
Break out the pinnata."
"No
way! Emilio Estevez, he was in those Duck movies, remember?"
"You're
not gonna let Rudolph join in any of your perverted reindeer games?"
"I
mean, my butt is like a magnet. Chicks can't keep their eyes off it."
"Hey,
Ms. Tringle. How's it hangin?"
"You're
nothing but a whitebred, country club goody two shoes with a bad case of
potty mouth."
"You
want to trust me? What, like I'm gonna steal your girlfriend or something?"
"You
know, this town is the absolute embodiment of dull. Apart from the occasional
sex scandal, provided by yours truly, nothing happens here."
"You
have some raging hormonal obsession for our friend Dawson and you just
can't wait to get your hooks into him but good, can you?"
"Be
kind, rewind."
"
This girl is head in the clouds, 100%, ass backwards in love with you,
all right?"
"Finally,
Dawson's evil twin. This has been a much anticipated pleasure."
"So
you're just wearing that lipstick as a fashion statement, right?"
"Boy,
this is fascinating."
"Well,
you're a little late."
"These
questions are not gonna go away, Dawson. It's time that you provide some
answers."
"Oh,
and to come from you that really hurts."
"Back
handed insults disguised as compliments. That's really a novel approach
to winning back a woman's affections."
"Borrowing,
stealing, look it's not like I killed anybody, all right?"
"Actually,
he told me that as soon as I want to become an emancipated minor, I should
just show him where he needs to sign."
"Wouldn't
that just piss my dad off."
"It
looks like Prince Charming's finally found the owner of that glass slipper."
"Well,
you tell him that the concern is appreciated. But he should save it for
the closet case with the gun."
"Please
don't make me eat dinner with the Stepford family."
"When
was it that I got designated the town loser?"
"I
prefer to call it borrowing, but sure."
"Look
it at this way, Dawson. Repressing desire can only make it more powerful."
"You
could tell me why you've been avoiding me all day, or what's behind that
look in your eyes, whether it's repulsion or jealousy or complete disapproval
cause I know I've never seen it from you before. You could tell me
that
you suddenly feel strange about us and that maybe we need a break because
you don't seem to know me and maybe you never did. Or, and this time I'll
make it really easy for you, Dawson. You could tell me if I've left anything
out."
"Grams,
I forgot to tell you, the Lord sent a fax while you were out. Something
about the Armaggedon?"
"You
better clarify yourself right now before I rip your head off."
"What
the hell are you doing here?"
"At
the risk of sounding redundant, what the hell are you doing here?"
"Can
I sleep here tonight, Dawson, with you, the way Joey does? As friends.
Can I just lie here with you tonight?"
